Why oh why am i still fat?

Question: why am i still fat?
Answer: Stop eating.
Question:But I love food cant i just do something else?
Answer:Sure....Stop eating.

And this is my inner struggle. LOL ok seriously i know that i cant stop eating blah blah blah, and that i would actually gain weight blah blah blah... but sometime i wonder.

Like today,

Went to the gym, did my cardio. Stepped on the scale.

BANG still 168.

I know your all telling me its muscle that I'm putting on and blah blah but i would just love to see it drop just a little.... like 5 pounds would make me feel sooo good.

I do feel good.

But i would feel better! lol.

OK so ive decided here is what my week will look like:

Mondays: Cardio
Tuesdays: Ass
Wednesdays: Cardio
Thursdays: Abbs and Arms
Fridays: Cardio
Saturdays:Swimming with Tati
Sundays: Pure Pain with Juju.

and that's that for today that is :)

love ya!

Who says you cant work out in flats?

Heyya everyone! That is if anyone is even reading this thing....i hope you are.

Short and sweet update:

-went to the gym on Sunday with my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law.
-sister-in-law caused me sever physical and mental pain.
-still love her.
-want to kill her.
-but will LOVE to kill her......humm....

I also worked out on Monday but this was pure cardio.

I forgot my running shoes and only had my brand new black ballet flats.

I though about skipping the workout... and it only took me one second to decide flats or no flats imagonna burn some fat!

I wish i had taken a pic. it was the funnies shit ever! I'm sure posh spice works out in studded diamond flats her hunkie husband bought her while on a trip in Spain....ahhhh i wish i was posh....

30min on the elliptical level 3.

Ate a chocolate chip cookie...OK 2 OK OK .....4... but it was like having sex for the first time....that's not giving justice to the cookie...the cookie was MUCH MUCH better. Much.

Any hoot.

Up to today.....

Went on the treadmill- 10min and now i know how a gerbil feels, especially a slightly over wight gerbil. Nothing like the feeling of ones own fat giggling up and down as you attempt to keep you balance and not fly off the dam thing. (lets say that skinny people look way better on a treadmill..no giggle or i should say the right kinda giggle).

For all that effort i only burnt off 42Cal's.

Treadmills suck.

Now here is where the pain started.

Today I concentrated on my double ass(kinda like the double chin but on your thighs) and my ass.

MY ASS HURTS (and in a good way...lol)

I'm hopping that tomorrow it feels like a fly guy at a rainbow party on church st.

I don't want to be able to walk. That way i know that my work out...worked.

Will keep you updated on pain level.

Well now I'm going to go back to my every crazy job, eat my daughters baby soup(hey its high in protein) and eat my pita.

Love you all! (especially my personal trainer...juju)

Stuck here till 9pm....why me?

OK, so it 6pm and here i am sitting in front of the computer (as i always do every day of my life) answering questions with a smile....
(in my head I'm swearing like a truck driver on a pit stop at a HD).

I went to the gym today at 4pm (my "lunch" Hr. who the hell has lunch at 4pm?)

walked in, and I'm not going to lie i wanted to walk right back out and grab a cheeseburger.

I would kill for a double whopper combo with cheese and a full Coke, none of this b.s half-fat low-fat, no fat stuffed with "tastes like sugar" but causes cancer sugar b.s.

As you can tell the side effects of the change in my daily eating habits are now rearing there ugly little heads.

Ive hit the wall. Yes ladies and gents the dreaded WALL, and i have hit it on my 5th day. So sad but true.

Needless to say i just kept on walking, told the annoying inner voice to just shut the F-up. and just keep on trucking. Take it you baby B$tC&.

Note: Any time i want to quit i think of the Additonelle add i saw the other day.

Her is this very attractive woman dressed in proper clothing for their body type. A.K.A Fattie clothing.

and the caption reads "be who you truly are"

So.... F! who you are happy with being, Be your True Fat Self. Period.

Have you seen these girls? There like what 6 feet tall? I don't see a 5'4 model who is a size 14 on the cover!

What would the caption read?

"Bulgie but beautiful"

Please......

So enough ranting....

Here was my routine:

15 min on the elliptical at level 3*

*note: i have realized that just because its a level higher and a hell of a lot harder your not burning more calories your just toning more. so if you want to burn the fat keep to a lower lever and a higher pace.

just a note :P

Mooooving along...

Did

10*2 of armie thingies (take a pic of this one...note to self)
10*2 of the leg extensions (took it up a notch and did 90 pounds) OWCIE IT BURNS! but its a "GOOD" burning... LOL i don't know of such thing. but it is.

then i did the dreaded lose that fat ass and thigh workout..

you know the one...here close your eyes and picture this.

its a sit down exercises, with two arms the straddle your legs apart/together depending on whether your going to burn inner or outer fat.

ya you know the one.

did it till i wanted to cry. but my ass fells great. no lie. i feel like one of those beach models for some cellulite cream with tight white shorts and an unreal (probably plastic/air bushed) ass.

Then i took a shower. A fresh new CLEAN towel in tow.

This Sunday I'm going to get my ASS handed to me by my amazing-yet-slightly-unstable sister-in-law. she says she does it cuz she loves me...i just think she wants to see me cry. (kidding) No really she loves me, ok ok i love her :)

And on one last note:

Please get all your friends, sisters, girlfriends(if you swing thata way) boyfriends, dog walkers' nanny to log onto my blog. give feed back ! show me you care! love me! MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA.

no seriously, at the end of this months (April) i will not longer be able to afford to go to the gym and am now looking for a gym to sponsor me on my 6month adventure of loss of ass.

Adopt a Fat Friend, and spread the love :P

xoxo
SGM

At work and feeling FINE.

That's right I'm feeling fine. No major pain. Yet.

Left here right at 1pm, got to the gym at like 1:05pm. (now that i know where it its)

Asked the receptionist where the bath towels were....(she looked at me if i asked her what colour her pubic hair was)
"here" she handed me over a fresh white towel. "can i have two?" just in case someone decides to pick the lock on my locker and take my precious towel.

my precious......

So needles to say I'm not getting any STDs today. That's a good thing, no?

My workout:

Elliptical- level 2 -15min 200 cal.
Lower back extensions 10*2 at 90 pounds.
Leg Extensions 10*2
Hip Adductor (a.k.a melt the fat off your thighs)
Seated Leg Press.

So tomorrow I'm going to work out my arms.

Wish me luck ;0)

No sleep + Fussy Bayy = BAD morning.

Dear GOD,

Please help me with my little girl as she apparently thinks that 4am is feeding time and into mamma and daddas bed time.

Do this one thing and ill give up Twinkies for life. O.K realistically for like 12 months.

Thanks.

10:46am.

One cold coffee and un-melted buttered toast latter and I'm still planning on going postal today.

How is it that i go to bed relaxed and wake up wanting to strangle the first breathing-warm body? Oh i know. LACK OF SLEEP. I am seriously thinking of donating my eggs.

So this is how my morning went:

Got up at 8:30am (should have been out the door by this time)

So i black mailed my husband with fresh coffee and not so fresh toast to drive me to the GO.

He agrees ALLELUIA!

So i get dressed and for the first time this week have time and to put on make-up to cover the puffy eyes and down tone the look of a woman who is about to have a nervous brake down.

Out the door by 9am. @ the Go by 9:04am with Tait in the back squealing TRAIN!! CHOO-CHOO. (how can she be so wide awake and ready to confront the world? I'm thinking it because she knows she can take naps.)

I will be going to the gym @1pm.
Stay tune for the follow-up!

xoxo
Sandra

Back from the gym and having a kid hurt a lot less.

I'm back, its like 4pm and only now have i had a second to update this thing...its been nuts.

This is the brake down:

It "only" took me about 20min to find the gym. Union station my ass! (Its easier to find a chocolate bar between two obese women.)

Finally waked through the doors, passed the tightly toned receptionist (i wonder if they work out or just throw up) my pass, she looks me up and down asks me if Ive been there, i lie and say yes. (i will learn to regret this latter when i cant find a towel to dry myself with after my shower).

Hold up 4 call on hold...ill be back.

I'm back.

So as i walk down the ails of torture i cant see the reason as to why people would be willing to pay $60 buck a pop. Its a quite ugly gym and it smells, but i guess all gyms smell.

Note: bring Lysol next visit.

Any hoot, so back to the change room where everyone is in one of three stages:
1) Work-out gear.
2) Corporate gear.
3) Naked. (and I'm talking like the day you were born naked)

So following fashion i strip down to my White tighties and get my joggers on.

Now the fun part.

I first get on the elliptical - 10MIN 150 cals.
Then is onto an array of torture chambers:
-Back Strengthen thingies- 10*2reps
-Worked out my upper-mid-lower-ALL!!! Arms legs and ASS. 10*2reps

So after busting up my body i went for the cherry....to the AB CRUNCH-A-NATOR.

You actually have to use both your arms and your leg to work this one.
and it kills like a B$&#H.

As i walk to the showers, i think to myself "i actually feel better!" and deep down in the sensible place where I'm supposed to listen to that little voice, i know that tomorrow its GONNA HURT, but for now i just ignore it.

This is the funny part.

I take a shower, enjoy the hot water.... but where are the towels?

HA no towels anywhere! was i supposed to get it from the front desk? Do you have to pay extra to be able to dry your ass?
Is it a BYOT? (Bring your own towel)
So at this point I'm dripping wet, walking around the change room women eyeing me like I'm crazy and fat when i Finally find a towel. That right ONE towel (probably left behind by someone who forgot to put away) It still rolled up neatly and looks un-used.

Here are my options: Let myself Air dry.
or used the dam thing!

So i used it, being sure not to dab the "sensitive" areas. I just let them Air dry, just in case the previous person had crabs. (nothing like getting crabs)

So end result:

Calories shed: 320
Final weight: 169 (previously 173!)
Number of possibly dirty towels used: 1

And here we go...

Tue. April 08 2008 - Warning I am not on a diet I'm on a change my life routine. (lol)

And here we go again,

Dear god Please give me the strength to drop that double dipped donut from times that I have so wanted to eat since this morning, allow me the grace to not stuff my face full of saturated fats all day while I plant my very large ass for 8hrs in-front of a computer.

amen.

OK so every morning I say a little prayer, I guess it’s not your typical one but hey as long as it works...I'm all for it.

Wake up time: 7:45 ish (had Tatiana in my bed and really who can sleep when pressed up so far on the edge of the bed that if you do doze off you may or may not fall to your death)

Finally decided not to take the risk of sudden death and got out of bed. Took Tati to the bathroom, she peed( its a big production- I'm trying to potty train her) and then I got her dressed. Dora joggers and a pink shirt.

Breakfast:
Two whole-wheat toast- toasted with peanut butter and honey
1 cup of coffee and milk
3 sugars.

OK now im ready.
I slap on my Rollerblades and do what I do everymoring I decide to do something new:

Pray to God I don’t kill myself.

Left the house at 8:45am - Gotta get to the Go Train @ 9:13am.

OK I almost DIED, no I didn’t fall but I haven’t worked out since I was like 9 and now at the age of 27 I decide to shed my fat? What the hell am I thinking??????

On the train at 9:13am Sharp, covered in sweat my face all patchy and sweaty. I look hot.

Now here I am sitting at work its 12:41pm and I'm about to go to the gym and kill my body.
I plan to work out for about 45min and get back on here and update you guys....say a little prayer.